Link: http://www.RiseAboveAddiction.com/forum/

So now that you have had time to digest what the 5 stages of change actually are, I think it is important to go over how to actually use these principles to help your loved one (or YOURSELF) move towards real recovery. Consider this example:

Imagine I have a friend with a cocaine addiction. Lets say my friend is out using daily. Clearly addicted. Seeking, spending tons on cocaine, and displaying no interest in trying to change. In fact all he thinks about, and I mean the absolute only thing he thinks about, is the next time he can use cocaine. One day he makes his way home where he is told by his parents (or girlfriend, or friend, or whomever) that he must go straight to cocaine rehab that day. An ultimatum. He ignores the inquiry and anything that goes with it, no matter how heart-felt. Instead he goes out, and, well, uses. This event goes on and repeats itself time and time again. Any progress made? I suppose not.

Let's step back, this person is clearly in the precontemplation stage (stage 1). There is no thought or interest in changing whatsoever. You may say "but he was invited to move to the next stage, why did it fail?!" The answer is because he was not actually invited to move on to the next stage. They skipped ahead. He was in stage 1, and he was invited to jump all the way to stage 4. For an addict, this is a VERY long jump. This is not to say there isn't a place for ulitmatums or interventions, because there is place for those things, but instead consider the following:

Say this same individual made his way home and his family (again, or friend, or girlfriend, etc) said to him "I'm glad you are home. I have been worried about you. I know you may not be worried about yourself right now, but I want you to be around. I am worried you may end up in jail, or in the hospital, or worse, dead. Do you realize you might die from this? Do you realize you might end up in jail? I am not trying to just 'preach' to you -- just to tell you that I love you and want you to be okay. You can do what you want with it, but here is some information about a group that meets to talk about cocaine addictions..."

Did you notice any changes? This time his supporter talked to him about his problem while focusing on the halmarks of Stage 2 (instead of stage 4). These halmarks of stage 2 are primarily about increasing the user's awareness of the problem, and planting seeds for a desire to change in the first place. This is instead of going directly to an expectation of change (more of stage 4).

I know what you are thinking. That won't make him change. Maybe you are right, but it might just give him the best chance to change. Smaller steps are more palatable.

So here is the key:
1)Focus on first identifying what stage they are stuck in.
2)Then focus on identifying what is the halmark of the next stage?
3)No matter how much you want them to move to the last stage focus on trying them to move to the NEXT stage. Slow progress is better than no progress.
4)Treat a relapse like a step back to the previous stage instead of starting over all together.

I will post a list of the halmarks of each stage to focus on next... Have you visited the forum yet to talk about what you are going through?
www.RiseAboveAddiction.com

Link: http://www.riseaboveaddiction.com/forum

Changing Addiction -- The Five Stages of Change

Everyone always wants to know: “What is the path to recovery?” The answer to that, as it turns out, is quite personal. However, there are few pointers that you can use to measure where you or your loved one are at along that path. The Cancer and Prevention Research Center (CPRC) has come up with what they call the Transtheoretical Model of the Stages of Change. Obviously, recovery is a path to change and behavioral modification. It is a process of changing behaviors, and at times more difficultly, thinking. These stages of change become useful in that when you identify in what stage someone is residing you can identify what the next step should be. I will explain further how to actually use the transtheoretical model, but first, here are the stages of change:

1) Precontemplation Stage

In this stage the individual has no plans or intention at all to change their behavior. Many in this stage may actually be unaware of their problem in the first place. Unfortunately, leaving this stage may be the hardest.

2) Contemplation Stage

This stage is hallmarked by awareness of the problem and serious consideration about taking action to overcome it, but no real commitment has been made.

3) Preparation Stage

The preparation stage is where intention meets some sort of behavioral change. It includes the intent to take action in the next month. It also includes having taken action unsuccessfully in the last year.

4) Action Stage

This is where real modification of behaviors, experiences or their environment actually happens. This
stage requires significant amounts of energy and time.

5) Maintenance Stage

This stage begins approximately 6 months after action has been successfully carried out. During this stage people work hard to prevent relapses and consolidate the things they have learned and accomplished in the previous 4 stages. They actively use the techniques that got them this far maintain their recovery.

There are so many parts to this transtheoretical model that it is worth digesting it for a day. Think about behavioral modification. What stage are you in? What stage is your loved one in? Are they showing signs of working on the next stage? I’ll write more about how to actually use these stages and give an example or two tomorrow. Leave a comment, tell me what you think and where you or your loved one is at...or discuss this entry in the forum.
James Snow

Have you joined the addiction support forum yet? Don’t miss out.

Link: http://www.riseaboveaddiction.com/parentsandfriends.html

For Families and Friends

It probably is impossible to put into words the complexity of aching feelings a parent, family member, or friend feels at the sight of their loved one spiraling out of control. You have most likely felt some if not all of these: profound sadness, confusion, guilt, anger, desperation, helplessness, deep loneliness, fear, and even betrayal. It is a scary thing to face all of these things alone. But that is just it, you don’t have to face it alone! No matter how lonely you feel, there are millions just like you facing the reality of their loved one who is struggling with addiction. There are millions who are dealing with losses like yours. Isn’t it time to be supported? Many think about how hard it is for the person struggling with addiction and forget about the heavy load carried by those who love them. Some may even argue it is harder and more painful at times for the family or friend because they are often more aware of the unfortunate consequences the addict may inherit from their addiction.
Well, it is time for you to know it is okay to cry. It is okay to feel sad. However, you also ought to know it is okay to laugh when you can. It is okay to hope. It is okay to ask for help. It is okay to ask for support. It is okay to pray.
I love to look at pictures of the old Greek architecture. Have you ever noticed the abundance of impressive huge white stone columns? Powerful, aren’t they? Take the Parthenon for instance. Do you think any one pillar alone could hold up the massive roof structure? Not for a second. You should not expect so much of yourself either. Coping with a spouse, family member, or loved one who suffers from an addiction requires the support of others. There are many resources. In fact, we have started compiling some of these resources here on this site. In time, we hope to build the single largest addiction resources guide in the world. It does not matter where you go to find support, just find support. We are also building what we hope will become the largest online addiction support forum in the world. We invite you to join now for free and help us build something special together. Go to a meeting near you, call a friend, join a support group online or in person – you do not need to be alone anymore!
www.riseaboveaddiction.com
James Snow

Have you seen our section on addiction resources?